We like Marcus so much that he now has his own bi-weekly column, “Man Things with Marcus,” that will run every other Wednesday. Enjoy!
Notes on the acceptance of the “bitch,” or how a male dominated society is now reaping what they sowed…
We have never met anyone like June Cleaver in real life.
Women are difficult and beautiful creatures. I argue that it lies in the progression of giving greater and equal representation under law that has allowed for this to occur that has led to the creation of the “diva,” “bitch” or “intentionally difficult woman” culture in our society. Prior to the development of rules and regulations in society that actively encouraged women to procure jobs, own items and express opinions, let’s be honest: they weren’t very difficult humans. Let’s look at our greatest culture defining tool, television. June and Ward Cleaver or Lucy and Desi Arnaz had disagreements, but the man always won. Yes, the woman may raise a sassy eye at the man, but the laugh tracks ALWAYS show that when the man replied with a dismissive and grumpy response, that it was the general consensus of the audience that the man was a) right, and that b) the woman was daft, stupid and usually idiotic to even conceive of the concept that her opinion could even possibly be right. This was an era of strong, defiant male archetypes with proven track records of success. John F. Kennedy. John Wayne. Joe Namath. Jim Brown. And so on, and so forth. These men actually became greater men because, in many ways, they used women as sexual or trophy objects, blond hair, tight abs, firm rear, etc. As we continue, we’ll see that these are certainly different times.
Gloria Steinem and Dorothy Pitman Hughes getting liberated.
Let’s fast forward to today. Men have a pretty terrible track record and routinely are being simply bested or flatly outdone by the women of the world. I’m of the belief that the men of the golden era of American popular culture (1950s-1980s) gave women rights because they thought immediately of the sexual benefits of women’s liberation. Women with money and influence are women who become worldly, more forward thinking, and more demanding of many things, sex included. The man doesn’t have to set forth to conquer, he too can be conquered, and due to the nature of human physiology, conquered willingly. I think that men wagered with their penises on this one, and generations in the future have paid the price. Women voting? Perfectly okay. We’ve learned over time, that, well, elections can be fixed, and the results are immaterial to the necessary outcomes. But you can’t fix Title IX demands for women athletes who demand equal rights that slash men’s sports. You can’t fix women with incresingly higher levels of college degrees. You can’t fix women getting divorced and still successfully raising single parent households. You can’t fix female millionaires and successful business owners growing at an exponential rate. In a culture of can’t fix, women have certainly proved that they can win.
Men? What have we done? Well, let’s look at the failure of every major industry we built this country on, dripping in our testosterone, male sweat and egoism. Farming? Automobiles? The military? Complete and outright misogyny? I don’t think Admiral Chester Nimitz would be particularly proud of the most recent Middle East conflict. I’m quite sure Lee Iacocca isn’t exactly proud of the industry he saw through it’s most lucrative era with Chrysler and Ford. And hey. On a completely pigheaded level, let’s get the locker room giggles out, when Jim Brown sees a Kobe Bryant or more recently Tiger Woods on the evening news, I’m sure he’s gotta shake his head in silent dismay.
Point being, it’s really time to break the aggressive and dominant male paradigm that tends to ruin many relationships. Women, by merely running shit these days, have earned the wright to be as bitchy, domineering, angry, bossy and difficult as they want. In many ways, the future of our country sits MORE on their shoulders now than it ever has before, and it’s clear we’re in a different era. To even presuppose in 2010 that as a man you hold really ANY DOMINANT ROLE is actually preposterous and hilarious. A relationship of any sort CAN’T survive under these conditions. Neither can a relationship with a dominant female, but there does need to be a particular sensitivity paid to the concept that women are certainly, more than ever on point, and it’s we, then men who are a tad bit behind.
And a quick related aside before conclusion. I hear more and more these days about battered women in relationships. Well, what does the average man have left? His fists. It’s the last male bastion of power. And to use it is the most chicken shit idea ever. You’re a fool to do so. Why? Well violence of most any sort without demonstrable provocation is wrong, and, secondly, well, you come across in doing so these days like the third moving hand of a wristwatch in digital times.
Let’s face it. It’s time to realize that being a man is now all about accepting women as equal or greater contributors. To truly be the man, the time has arrived to truly respect the woman. Fuck flowers. That’s love.
If you don’t know, now you know. Consider yourself edukated.
Marcus Dowling is all over the Internet. You can read what he has to say, usually about music, at his own site, True Genius Requires Insanity (tgrionline.com), as well as Brightest Young Things (brightestyoungthings.com), The Couch Sessions (thecouchsessions.com), Baltimore’s 41Yo.com, and Atlanta’s Art Nouveau Magazine (an-mag.com) and a full slate of others as well. Follow him on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/marcuskdowling.
