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In terms of club geography, the DJ booth is second in importance only to the bar. It’s separated from the dancefloor for a reason: there is work going on here. Sadly, the sanctity of the booth is abused by both DJs and partygoers all too often. So, in consultation with a couple of working DJs, we present to you a few pointers on DJ booth etiquette.

A) For the DJs

Any working DJ knows that they need space to work. There needs to be a place to put your drink, your stuff needs to be secure, and you need to be able to mix. However much they bitch about it, though, most DJs are just as disrespectful of the booth setup as the guy who was on before them. Don’t leave your shit all over the place – you know it pisses you off, so why are you leaving four empty glasses there? Also, don’t take other people’s stuff. If the slipmats belong to the club, leave them there. Random cables lying around? Someone might have left them there last night. We all get too drunk to put our equipment away properly sometimes – wouldn’t you appreciate it if someone gave the club whatever you’d left behind? Common courtesy, people.

B) For the guests

1. THE DJ IS PLAYING MUSIC SO PEOPLE CAN GET DOWN.

If you’re standing around in the DJ booth, you are not getting down. Sometimes it is acceptable to chill in the booth all night: when the DJ is your only friend at the party and you specifically came to the party to keep him/her company. Otherwise, the booth is a separate area for a reason – like we mentioned in the first paragraph, it’s a space to work. And seriously, people, you do not look cool because you’re awkwardly standing around trainspotting. You look much cooler if you say hey to the DJ then get the fuck onto the floor and bust some moves.

2. Doing drugs in the DJ booth is a time-honored club tradition. The DJ is not going to mind if you abuse their space in order to consume drugs… just make sure you offer the DJ the first line/hit. It’s a respect thing; you’re saying “thanks for letting me use your space and for the music you’re playing.”

3. Request blocking is a duty if you are hanging out in the booth. The DJ is working, and you’re sort of in the way even if you’re invited. So, pitch in for the sake of the party and stop drunk Becky when she tries to request Journey for the third time.

4. Don’t fuck up the equipment. There are cords and buttons and computers and all that back in the booth – you don’t want to be that asshole who trips over the cables and kills the music. Be careful.

5. Grinding on the DJ is permitted and, usually, encouraged.

Who doesn’t love a little fun in the sun? Clearly our favorite fun activity is making out. Yes, yes there are plenty of other activities you could be engaged in at the beach (like water sports), but it’s a lot more fun if you’re making out on the beach or finding someone to make out with later. On a beautiful beach day it’s super easy to find a make out partner.

1) Look Hot

It’s very important to look hot while you’re at the beach. You’ll be dressed in a skimpy bathing suit and there’s no room to hide anything. While we’re not all perfect tens, you can still look hot even if you’ve been hitting the BBQs a little harder than you’ve been hitting the gym. It’s super cliche, but when you feel good and are full of confidence you’re going to look good. So don’t wear anything you’re not comfortable in and walk around like you own the beach. Hotties will notice.

2) Sunscreen

Wear sunscreen. Not only to protect your skin from burns and melanoma (besides, pale is in), but also to get potential make out partners to help you apply it on hard to reach areas. You’re not Stretch Armstrong so it’s completely reasonable to ask a hot stranger to apply it on your back for you. Simply ask with confidence “hey, do you mind getting my back” and you’ll have them all over you in no time. Just remember not to be awkward since awkwardness is the enemy of awesome and everyone should try to be awesome.

3) Balls

Bring a paddle ball set, volleyball or Bocce set with you to the beach (we suppose a frisbee would do too). You can ask some hottie to play with you and uh bat around some balls or you could “accidentally” hit one of the balls over by them. It’s a great conversation starter.

4) Booze

When all else fails booze will help you make out (as in every other situation). A lot of beaches don’t allow alcohol on the beach, but that shouldn’t be a deterrent for you, instead that just means a lot of other people didn’t bring booze with them. When you see a hottie you’d like to play tonsil hockey with invite them over to your umbrella for a drink. They will be grateful and you’ll have time to work your moves on them.

While we wish we were emotionless robots we are boring humans with “feelings.” Feelings can be annoying, especially romantic feelings. Expressing instead of repressing those feelings is even more annoying. If you start to get feelings romantic feelings for someone else (and not just feelings in your pants) you should probably express them. Yes, there’s always the risk of rejection and the risk that they might not have the same feelings, but there’s a huge payout if your feelings are reciprocated.

1) Make Sure You Know What You’re Feeling

This should be obvious, but too many people confuse lust for love. We’re not saying you have to drop the l-bomb on someone, but make sure you actually like them as a person and not just as a person to make-out with.

2) Know When to Hold’Em and When to Fold’Em

This one’s a little tricky. Only you can know if the object of your affection needs to know your feelings or how s/he would react. If you think (or know) they won’t take it well or if they might reciprocate. Telling someone how you feel is always a gamble, only you know if it’s worth the risk.

3) Opportunity

Telling the apple of your eye that you like him/her right after his/her grandfather died is probably a bad plan. Wait until you’re alone with the person you like and then tell them how you feel.

4) Be Direct

This is not the time to be using euphemisms or to be pussy-footing around. Be open and honest about your feelings.

Let’s be serious: if you can’t get some at a wedding, you’re doing it wrong.

There’s something about weddings that just urges people to make out. Jealousy of the lucky soon-to-be-ravenously-screwing honeymooning couple? Biological clocks ticking? Open bar? Whatever it is, it’s a powerful force of nature akin to gravity that single persons seemingly can’t combat. We can call it the Marriage Magnetism.

That being said, there are a few pitfalls to watch out for when you’re trying to make out at a wedding as well as some practical things to think about.

First, and most important: beware incest. If either of the bridal couple is related to you, there’s a definite risk of awkward long-lost-family hookup. Make sure you know exactly how your makeout partner ended up with an invitation. If your family is particularly dysfunctional, you might want to avoid anyone from the same side of the wedding altogether, for fear of never having met your first cousin. And the possibilities there are just gross.

Once you’ve established that the object of your desire is not, in fact, related to you, there are some other things to think about at family weddings. For example, are your parents there? And would they particularly care if they found someone else in your hotel room in the morning?

So, hooking up at a family wedding can be a little trickier, but it can be done. Really, we can’t stress enough how easy it is to hook up at a wedding. Besides the Marriage Magnetism we already discussed, the circumstances are just so good. There’s probably an open bar. Part of the deal is looking like an idiot on the dance floor, so even if you can’t dance, your sense of humor will save the day (and if you need help geetting it started, check this out). Plus, either you or your potential hookup is probably staying upstairs or in a hotel nearby.

Considering all these factors contributing to the increased likelihood of making out during or after a wedding, you mainly just want to be prepared. Scope out the potential hookups during the ceremony and find out who they are. It’s not just family weddings that you need to be cautious about: that hottie at your frat brother’s wedding that seems single could be the wife of the bride’s brother who’s doing a tour in Afghanistan. You tap that, you’re probably not getting invited over to the happy newlyweds’ home for football on Sunday.

Lastly, be aware that there’s a lot of drinking going on at most weddings. Like, a LOT of drinking. You don’t want to be an accidental date rapist, and you don’t want to end up preggers because you forgot to wrap it up (see educational video below). Just because the Marriage Magnetism has you in its grip doesn’t mean that this isn’t like any other drunken hookup, and accordingly you should take the same precautions.

We’re teaming up with our good friends over at TGRIOnline and co-hosting a party, Friends – A Celebration of 50 Years of Pop Music on June 10th over at Wonderland Ballroom in DC. Our good friends DJ TMY and DJ Cold Case will be spinning the best teen pop music from the past 50 years. In the lead up to the party we’re going to be posting a few entries on things we wish we had known about when we were teenagers.

You’re at the club, event or if you’re a teenager, school dance, and you see someone across the room you know you just have to dance with. How do you go over and ask someone to dance? Whether it’s someone you’ve been crushing on hard for awhile or a complete stranger asking someone to dance is really easy. It’s way less pressure than asking them on a date, there’s no commitment and if they say no there are plenty of other people on the dance floor if you get rejected.

1. Confidence

Confidence is really the key to a lot of things in life, asking someone to dance is no exception. As we’ve told you many, many times awkwardness is the enemy of awesomeness so don’t be awkward. Go up to that lucky lady/dude and ask him/her to dance.

2. Have fun.

If it looks like you’re having a miserable time or hate dancing no one is going to want to dance with you. You don’t have to have any fancy moves, in fact it’s discouraged, but you do have to look like you want to be there.

3. Ask them.

There are a couple of ways you can go about asking someone to dance.

You can simply ask them. We recommend the tried and true “Hey, want to dance?” This generally works for people who aren’t currently dancing and works the best for high school dances.

The other way is to just start dancing with them if you’re both already on the dance floor. Not in the creepy SNL Night at the Roxbury way and no grinding (at least not initially) but simply by making a move and dancing by them. If they want to dance with you they’ll let you know with their body language, if they don’t they’ll turn their back on you and go back to their friends.

4. Don’t linger.

If someone doesn’t want to dance don’t be creepy and linger around them. This will only turn them off further and makes you look like a creep to other people who you may want to dance with. Instead hold your head up high and move on.

Working in restaurants (or, I imagine, in a number of service-industry roles) allows opportunity to observe society through a different lens than it’s usually seen. I spend some of my time (while not edukating) working in restaurants, and making such observations. Occasionally, I’ll share some useful conclusions put together from these observations.

It might shock you to know that when you’re out on a dinner date, any experienced waiter, bartender, or even bus boy could tell you which date you’re on, whether your date is into you, and whether it’s a good match. Remember: restaurant workers, perforce, watch a ton of dates unfold every night of their lives, so they’ve got a lot of data to go on when placing your date on the dating bell curve. Here are a few of the standard dates, and the clues that tip you off to them. Knowledge is power, and the next time you go on one of these dates you’ll be able to pick up on some of the usual clues. Plus, it’ll be a nice tour guide for people-watching next time you’re hanging out at a restaurant bar with your friends.

The First Date

Nervous, nervous, nervous. Twitchy body language is the name of the game on the first date. Awkward silences, overenthusiastic giggling, and one staring at the other with a slightly glazed expression nodding and saying “uh huh” to the very long explanation of “what do you do for a living?” Posture is always very straight and correct. Each participant closely observes the other for clues; remember these people haven’t been out to dinner with one another yet, so they don’t know how long it takes the other to decide what to eat or whether it’s appropriate to select a bottle of wine or go for a beer.

The “This Is Going Well” Date

A few dates in, these are definitely the most pleasant dates to wait on from a restaurant perspective. Happy, glowing even, these people are legitimately excited to have found someone they get along with so well. They might even be going home together afterward… but they might not know that yet! The talk is ceaseless, and when they aren’t ready to order the third time the waitress comes over they will laugh out loud at themselves. They lean in towards each other and barely notice anything going on around them. One might order a beer, and the other a glass of wine; no big deal.

The Anniversary Date

A month into the relationship, three years in, whichever: this one is always easy to spot. They made an effort to go out for a special occasion, but they aren’t overly excited about it. They are there for dinner, and to spend time with their significant other, but they clearly see this person on an almost daily basis. No one is conversationally tripping over the other to get out a great anecdote they haven’t told before, and they’ll be more observant of what’s going on in the dining room – possibly to find fuel for conversation. Cell phones might even be out on the table. However, they will also be sharing food and possibly holding hands for a portion of the night. A bottle of wine is likely on the table.

The Proposal

This one is almost always sickeningly obvious. If the woman knows (or suspects) she’s in a little black dress, really trying to be glowing, and slightly nervous. If she doesn’t, the disproportionate care the gentleman will be taking to ensure everything goes smoothly will be even more markedly obvious. There’s a good chance he’s warned the restaurant ahead of time, and in that case they’re going to have the most separate, private table available and the females of the wait staff will be keenly watching them. A bottle of champagne is almost a given.

The Creep

The side ho, the affair, whatever. Whether it’s an older, disgustingly fat guy with a paid escort in a tight neon dress or two thirty-year-olds, only one of whom is wearing a ring, these dates are always hilarious. The guy will almost always be paying, and paying cash. A bottle of wine and even some cocktails are guaranteed. They take forever at dinner, since this is the only time they get together (or away from their hated spouses). These are also the dates that involve the most nauseating public displays of affection, since they aren’t getting any at home. They’ll be sitting next to each other at the table, and don’t be surprised if you see the woman with her heels off rubbing the guy’s leg with her foot under the table.

Dear Edukatorz,

I can’t dance, but all my friends want to go to the club. Please help.

-Two Left Feet

Dear TLF,

Our sympathies! But don’t worry, this is a really common problem, and there are a number of good solutions.

First, ask yourself, do you want to go to the club? Yes, among many social circles, going to the club is a popular group activity, but it won’t necessarily alienate you from them if you don’t like being there. You can always meet them at the diner afterwards, or pregame with them!

However, if you do like the music and enjoy the social atmosphere, or even just want to occasionally join in your friends’ preferred hobby, you can certainly get by without dancing. Make yourself the official wallflower among your friends! When they get tired or need a drink, they’ll look for you to the side of the floor. No one can dance all night straight (unless they’re on a lot of unhealthy drugs), so you can definitely spend a pleasant night hanging out at a table to the side.

Then, of course, there’s always the chance that you can, in fact, dance. This is risky, but some people are just too shy to realize that dancing isn’t really that hard, and you don’t have to do any fancy moves (in fact, we discourage most people from engaging in fancy moves, since most people look ridiculous doing that). But if you decide to try it, be aware of what you’re doing and please desist if you find yourself knocking drinks out of people’s hands.

Hope that helped, and good luck at the club!

-The Edukatorz

It happens: everyone gets a little lonely sometimes. We crave physical intimacy; it’s part of being human. When you’re single, however, finding the requisite intimacy can be a little tricky. That’s where the booty call comes in. The Edukatorz are all for making out, but we’re also all for safety, so please, don’t go hooking up with strangers from bars all the time (and remember to follow the Maury Povich rule!). It’s a better idea to cultivate a couple of no-strings-attached relationships that revolve more or less around satisfying one another’s urges for physical intimacy. In other words, booty calls.

Booty calls are a good outlet for any sexual frustration for a number of reasons. Presumably, you know the person (we find that these sorts of relationships often develop amongst members of larger social circles). You can therefore be confident of safety (in terms of disease) and that the other person sees the relationship the same way you do. That’s all well and good, but sometimes these arrangements can go very wrong and even turn (horror of horrors!) awkward.

To avoid awkwardness, the enemy of awesome, you have to follow a few simple rules. First off, make sure you are, in fact, on the same emotional page as your partner. If this is no-strings-attached, be honest with yourself and with your booty call about it. You don’t want to get upset if you see your partner hitting on someone else at the club, and you definitely don’t want your partner butting in when your longstanding crush is finally showing signs of warming up to you.

Another thing to clear up from the get-go is safe-sex expectations. Monogamy usually isn’t a requirement here (that often leads to aforementioned emotional awkwardness), but you might want to set a few ground rules like “use a condom with other people” and “don’t fuck prostitutes.”

You also want to tread carefully when deciding when to meet up with your booty call. If that person doesn’t feel like seeing you that night, brush it off. You’re both single partly because you don’t want that kind of responsibility toward the other, right? Don’t get offended, and definitely don’t call more than once. That’s a red flag for desperation, neediness, or demanding-ness, all of which are directly opposed to the entire principle of the booty call.

So, get out there and hit on that hot friend who just got dumped! It’ll make you both feel better, just follow the rules.

The Edukatorz are big fans of good strip clubs. Nothing makes a beer taste better than a lot of hot naked women around. Hanging out at a lot of strip clubs has given the Edukatorz some insight into how to behave at them – and definitely how not to. These are just some fundamental rules of how to act in a strip club if you don’t want your ass kicked out.

1. Don’t Touch the Stripper without Permission.
In some cities (DC, for example), you aren’t allowed to touch the strippers at all. In others, lap dances are the main money-makers for the strippers. Even in a lap dance situation, though, you need to be careful about pushing the boundaries. A few, if you’re lucky, don’t mind a little groping during a lap dance – if that’s the case, they will definitely tell you. Different girls have different boundaries, and you don’t want to overstep them. On-duty strippers are generally the most well-guarded ladies you’ll come across, and you do not want to piss them off.

2. Don’t Touch the Waitress. Ever.
You will get your ass kicked extremely hard out the door immediately if you touch the cocktail waitress. There is a reason these ladies are not on stage – they are waitresses, not strippers. Sure, they wear skimpy outfits for the atmosphere and don’t mind showing off their looks, but they are essentially cocktail waitresses, just the same as the regular pub next door. Think about what the bouncer next door would do if you grabbed that waitress’s ass… then contemplate what the giant, highly experienced, and over-protective bouncer at the strip club would do to you.

3. Tip the Dancers.
Different clubs are set up differently (one big stage with stage seating, small stages with table seating, whatever) but the principle applies across the board. The dancer is making money by taking her clothes off. You knew that when you walked in the door. Part of the bargain when you walk in the door is that you tip them for this. Even if you’re not really watching her, if the stripper whose titties you just saw comes to introduce herself at your table after her dance, you give her a fucking dollar. It’s a dollar. You saw boobies. It’s the least you can do.

4. Tip the Rest of the Staff.
Tipping the bouncers is usually unnecessary, but if he renders you some above-and-beyond service, throw him a fiver. Most people don’t consider it, but if he kicks out some asshole because the guy was pissing off your girlfriend (whether she’s dancing or hanging out with you enjoying a beer), he’s doing YOU a favor. The waitresses and bartenders are waitresses and bartenders. They work for tips just the same as the dancers. Don’t forget them.

5. Don’t be an Asshole.
Acting a drunken fool is never going to get you any friends, but The Edukatorz have seen some particularly outlandish behavior in strip clubs. Men will holler at the strippers, try to take cell phone pics, throw dollars all over the stage (forcing the stripper to crawl around when he could have just as reasonably slipped a 20 in her garter), stare at her ass from a foot away for a full five minutes, and all manner of creepy shit. Some of it is borderline acceptable, if not respectable and definitely not going to get you any love from the club in general, but remember: bottom line, acting like an asshole in a strip club is going to get your asshole ass kicked. Good riddance.

Seriously, watch this show.

Over here at Edukatorz HQ, we’ve been a little obsessed with the BBC show The Inbetweeners, a show about British teenage boys. While we won’t get into the specifics of the show now, the boys on the show rarely succeed in getting girls. Clearly teenage boys have absolutely no game whatsoever, but we can learn what not to do from them.

1) Don’t Be Awkward

We’ve covered this a little bit before and we’ll cover it more in the future, but try not to be awkward around the object of your affection. Teenage boys (well, teenagers in general really) can’t help but be awkward, it’s part of puberty, while you reader who we are assuming is an adult, can try to stop your awkwardness. Just relax and have confidence in yourself, easier said than done, but we think it’s doable.

2) Know What You’re Doing

Teenage boys have no idea what they’re doing when it comes to flirting and when it comes to matters in the bedroom. While the flirting will come with confidence and decreased awkwardness, there’s no excuse for an adult to be unaware of what to do in the bedroom. If you think you need some more instruction and don’t feel like using the rest of the Internet, let us know, we’ll try to help.

3) Communicate

This may be a function of teenage awkwardness, but teenage boys seem to have a lot of trouble telling girls/boys that they have a crush on that they in fact have a crush on them. Come to think of it, we know a lot of adults like this. People are not psychic, you will not get to make out with them unless you express your desire to make out with them. So instead of awkwardly having a crush and grunting one or two words to said crush, work up enough nerve to ask them out or at least test the waters to see if they’d be interested too.

4) Know What You Want

All teenage boys think about is girls (and in some cases boys) and whether or not they’ll get to have sex, or at least a little boob. It’s good to know what you want when getting into a sexual situation. Do you just want to make out with someone? Do you want to bone someone? Do you want to date AND bone someone? It’s good to know what you want before getting yourself into a sexy situation, it’ll prevent you from accidentally dating someone you don’t really want to date and it’ll help you focus on what you want (making out).