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In April, SXSW marks the start of the US music festival season, something that continues through the hot summer months with events like Lollapalooza and deep into the fall with Treasure Island Music Festival. Animal has returned and is here to tell you how to make the most of your music festival experience.

Be prepared. This is the number one rule for attending a music festival. Or really anything in life. It’s not hard. You’re excited to be there, why not set yourself up to make the most of it?

Most of the subsequent tips really stem from just being prepared.

Check the weather and dress accordingly. When attending music festivals, we are usually traveling or in a new place we’re not quite sure of. It’s really easy to think that San Francisco is going to be warm, sunny, and beautiful during the month of August but that’s just not the case. In fact, it’s usually foggy, dreary, and in the low 60s. The same goes with swings in weather. Is there chance of a thunderstorm in that muggy New York heat for Electric Zoo? You’re gonna want to dress light but probably avoid cotton because as soon as that storm moves in and you’re soaked from head to toe, there’s no relief besides getting naked. Read the rest of this entry →

We decided to bring Hipster Friday back to you as a little treat while Beaker is off missing again. Alas, if you have hipster music sensibilities and enjoy live music you’re probably going to end up at a show with hipsters. Fear not, it’s actually not that bad and we like to think that hipsters somehow add to the experience.

1) B.O.

Hipsters have notoriously bad hygiene, expect a lot of body odor when you’re at a show. Note: It is considered impolite to offer deodorant.

2) Long Line For the Bathroom

Hipsters love their illegal substances, especially cocaine. Expect a long line for the bathroom while some hipsters do coke in the bathroom stall with their friends. Also, don’t be surprised if someone tries to sell you drugs while you’re in the bathroom.

3) Bartenders

Hipsters are poor because they don’t have real jobs or “creatives” hence they are poor tippers.* You can use this to your advantage to get excellent service all night. Simply don’t be a dick and tip your bartender well** and you will be handsomely rewarded with excellent service and the PBR and whiskey shall flow like water for you.

4) Judginess

You’re going to be judged no matter what since you’re not a hipster. Get over it and enjoy the show.

*Oddly this is even MORE the case with trustfunders – they’re the cheapest.
**You should be doing this anyway.

Even though the Edukatorz are a little under the weather, we’re not going to let a little swag flu stop us from dropping science (albeit a little later than we thought we would), especially on “And if you don’t know, now you know” column days.

Biggie doesn't like it when you act like a jerk at a show.

Today’s column is about how to not act like a jerk at a concert. We’re willing to concede that there are many different ways to enjoy a concert, but there are some definite ways not to act when going to a show. As Edukatorz we’ve been to all sorts of shows, be them indie, punk, hardcore, jam band, electro, hip hop, etc. in venues large and small so we like to think we have at least some expertise on the subject. The below list is universal and can apply to pretty much any concert experience.

1) If you’re tall, don’t stand in front of short people.

Sometimes this is clearly unavoidable, but for the most part it’s totally avoidable. Mr./Ms. Lumberjack please do not saunter up to the middle of the show and plop yourself directly in front of us. We’re not even that short and it still ruins our concert experience at least once a month. Instead, please be aware of your surroundings and try not to block the view of those of us who are vertically challenged. Can we live in a world where short and tall people can enjoy the same concerts? We think we can.

2) Don’t take a million pictures with your point and shoot or camera phone.

We really don’t get the appeal of taking pictures at a show with your point and shoot camera or, even worse, your camera phone. What are you taking pictures of? Yourself? The Band? The Crowd? It makes no sense! Do you really need pictorial proof on your Facebook or Twitter that you were at the show and having a “rad” time? No, you do not. Especially since the pictures will be fuzzy and turn out poorly. Not only is it annoying to everyone who isn’t taking pictures, but you’re missing out on enjoying the actual show. Leave the photography to the professionals or at least your friends with DSLR’s who might know what they’re doing.

3) Flow with the crowd.

We’ve all been to lame shows where no one wants to get into it at risk of looking “un-cool” (I’m definitely looking at you DC), so it’s totally cool if you want to be the awesome person who gets the party started. It is not cool in these situations to start a mosh pit if it’s clearly a chillwave band or you are surrounded by Beckys and Chads. It is also not okay to boo the band if everyone else is having a good time, if they suck that bad please leave. It is also NEVER appropriate to yell out “Freebird” under any circumstance.

4) Don’t smoke if you’re up close to the stage or in the pit.

Now that most clubs ban cigarettes in the club this isn’t as much of an issue, but back in the day you had to be on fire patrol if you wanted to prevent a burn to your person or clothing. Some geniuses seem to think the pit or packed up by the stage is a perfect place to light up. It is not.  So if you’re ever at an outdoor show or some magical club that allows smoking, please light up before or after the show, but not during (or at the bar in the back).

5) Don’t wear the t-shirt of the band you’re going to see.

Just don’t be that guy (gal).

So follow these rules and don’t be “that guy” (or lady) at the show. And now you know.