edukatorz.com

In terms of club geography, the DJ booth is second in importance only to the bar. It’s separated from the dancefloor for a reason: there is work going on here. Sadly, the sanctity of the booth is abused by both DJs and partygoers all too often. So, in consultation with a couple of working DJs, we present to you a few pointers on DJ booth etiquette.

A) For the DJs

Any working DJ knows that they need space to work. There needs to be a place to put your drink, your stuff needs to be secure, and you need to be able to mix. However much they bitch about it, though, most DJs are just as disrespectful of the booth setup as the guy who was on before them. Don’t leave your shit all over the place – you know it pisses you off, so why are you leaving four empty glasses there? Also, don’t take other people’s stuff. If the slipmats belong to the club, leave them there. Random cables lying around? Someone might have left them there last night. We all get too drunk to put our equipment away properly sometimes – wouldn’t you appreciate it if someone gave the club whatever you’d left behind? Common courtesy, people.

B) For the guests

1. THE DJ IS PLAYING MUSIC SO PEOPLE CAN GET DOWN.

If you’re standing around in the DJ booth, you are not getting down. Sometimes it is acceptable to chill in the booth all night: when the DJ is your only friend at the party and you specifically came to the party to keep him/her company. Otherwise, the booth is a separate area for a reason – like we mentioned in the first paragraph, it’s a space to work. And seriously, people, you do not look cool because you’re awkwardly standing around trainspotting. You look much cooler if you say hey to the DJ then get the fuck onto the floor and bust some moves.

2. Doing drugs in the DJ booth is a time-honored club tradition. The DJ is not going to mind if you abuse their space in order to consume drugs… just make sure you offer the DJ the first line/hit. It’s a respect thing; you’re saying “thanks for letting me use your space and for the music you’re playing.”

3. Request blocking is a duty if you are hanging out in the booth. The DJ is working, and you’re sort of in the way even if you’re invited. So, pitch in for the sake of the party and stop drunk Becky when she tries to request Journey for the third time.

4. Don’t fuck up the equipment. There are cords and buttons and computers and all that back in the booth – you don’t want to be that asshole who trips over the cables and kills the music. Be careful.

5. Grinding on the DJ is permitted and, usually, encouraged.

Girls like flowers. We don’t know why this is, but it is a universal truth. Some guys don’t understand this, thinking that they’re too boring to be romantic. While creative, personalized gifts are always a good look, random flowers are an easy way to make any girl happy. So let’s go over some basic flower situations.

The Birthday Flowers

Whether it’s a long-term relationship or after two dates, when your girl’s birthday comes around flowers are not optional, they are mandatory. The rest of the present depends on the situation, but the flowers are pretty universal here. If you know her particular favorite flower, now is the time for that. If not, the rule of thumb here is a unique varied bouquet. You might want to look for some big, crazy tropical flowers that are fun and different.

The “I fucked up” Flowers

You slept with her sister? You got drunk and used her cat to wipe up your vomit? Yeah, you’re going to need to buy some flowers here. At the very least. Really, it’s a shallow and meaningless gesture, but it gives any apology a little extra weight behind it. We recommend breaking the bank on this one. Go over-the-top and obvious. Look for some rare roses.

The Random Flowers for the Girlfriend

In any long-term relationship, showing affection can get a little difficult. Bringing flowers home from work for your honey for no reason at all is a great way to put a smile on her face. Natural wildflowers, local selections and bouquets that would look great in your house are appropriate for this situation. These flowers are saying “you’re a great person, just all around.”

The Side Ho Flowers

That girl you’re doing on the side can get a little upset when you don’t take her out in public and spend money on your girlfriend, so an easy way to keep her happy is to send flowers to her work. That says “I’m thinking about you when I’m with my girlfriend, and here’s some flowers to show all your coworkers that you’ve sort of got a man.” Whenever you send a girl flowers at work, try to do it on a Monday. All too often, guys send flowers to the office on a Friday. Then the girl has to take them home, can only enjoy them for a day instead of a whole week of seeing them at her desk, and if she has plans already after work she has to drag them to happy with her.

The “I don’t know how to buy flowers” Flowers

99% of the time, guys who don’t buy flowers default with roses. While this is all well and good, you should avoid the typical ruby red flowers. They just look lazy. Dark red roses are very romantic and passionate. Other options include yellow roses (since these are traditionally for friendship, these are better for girlfriends than for flings), peach roses, or the best of all worlds with a collection of different-colored roses.

Hipsters like Valentine’s Day just as much as anyone else does. That is to say, they either love it or hate it. However, as we all know, hipsters have their own way of doing things, often just to be contradictory. So, here’s how to do it if that special someone (or that lack of special someone) in your life is a hipster.

DIY gifts

Hipsters love do-it-yourself craft projects. It makes them feel artsy. Therefore, you’re gonna want to skip the Hallmark aisle and go old-school style (or elementary-school style) with a construction paper heart card. Threadbanger has some ideas about DIY Valentine’s Day crafts for you here.

Make your own dinner

Hipsters love an amateur cook. The same rule applies to Brooklyn butchers as to the home cook: the more authentic and complicated-sounding the dish, the better. Think slow food, organic, and possibly vegan if you’re one of those.

Cassoulet gets mad meat-eater cred… if you don’t dry it out.

Don’t kill a plant!

There’s lots of crossover between hippies and hipsters as far as green politics is concerned, so, if you’re thinking of getting your lady a bouquet, you might want to go straight for a live plant. You don’t want to risk that look of horror when she realizes you’ve killed something for her! Besides, live plants last a lot longer.

Art!

Hipsters love art. Be cheap and write your honey a poem, an ironic love song, or go all-out, get some body paint, and do art all over each other.

Anti-Valentine’s day parties

Whether you have a date or not, the anti-Valentine’s DJ party or emo band lineup is a “counter-culture” affair that’s become quite harmless and mainstream. Keep up your bitter hipster vibe at one of the multitudes of these available all weekend!

And hipster dudes, never forget, shaving your mustache is the best present you can give your lady.

Our presents never look this neatly wrapped unless someone else did it for us.

It may shock you readers to know that the Edukatorz have been known to procrastinate about, oh say everything. Our Christmas shopping isn’t nearly done yet, so we assume yours might not be either. Since we’re experts on thriving when the pressure is on us, we’ve compiled some handy tips on last minute gifts that won’t seem like you got them at the last minute.

1. Gift Cards, we guess.

We think gift cards are kind of a lame gift anyway. It says “not only am I too lazy/uncreative to buy you an actual gift, but you now know exactly how much money I think you’re worth.” But when in a tight spot you got to do what you got to do. In this case we say go a more creative route than just a generic iTunes or Gap gift card. Instead buy them a certificate for a massage. Or if you know they like yoga, purchase a few classes for them at their favorite studio. Likewise if they’re cooks or DIYers a gift certificate to their favorite kitchen store or hardware store will be welcomed. Know what your loved one wants and needs and base your gift card purchase on that.

2. Make them a gift.

While it may seem counter intuitive to make a gift if you’re running out of time, it doesn’t have to be. The key is to know what you’re good at. If you’re an excellent cook or baker, make them some delicious treats. Likewise you can gift ingredients so that they can make their own tasty treat. For example, get a jar of some sort and put in the dried ingredients for lentil soup and a recipe. Not only is it thoughtful, but it looks like you put more effort into it than you actually did. Maybe you’re not a cook, you can give your loved one a personal certificate for one act you’re really good at. For instance, if you’re good with cars you could offer to change the persons oil for them. You could also make them a mixtape, scarf or some sort of craft. They key is to know what you’re good at and base your gift on that.

3. Re-gift

Re-gifting may seem a little tacky to some, but times have changed, we’re in a recession and trying to be greener. The key to re-gifting is to make sure a) you don’t re-gift the gift to someone in the same social circle as the person who gave you the gift and b) that the gift has no sentimental value. You can’t really re-gift the sweater your Grandmother gave you to your cousin on that side of the family, that is tacky and we should hope you were raised better. But, if you ended up getting a pound of coffee at the office gift exchange and you don’t drink coffee, it’s okay to re-gift it to someone else. Re-gift a gift you don’t want, but only if you know the other recipient will like it and that it won’t hurt the original givers feelings.

4. Recycle.

Gifting something you already have in your house can be a sentimental gift if done right. You could give them a plant they’ve admired in your house or a painting you’ve done that’s hanging on your wall. Gifts like the dog-eared copy of your favorite book with an inscription to your loved one are very personal and let the other person know you really care about them.

5. When in doubt buy booze.

Unless your family member/co-worker/friend is a recovering addict/religious, booze is always a good gift.