Avast, me hearties, ’tis International Talk Like a Pirate Day! To all ye scurvy lubbers who live in the bilge and ain’t familiar, it’s a yearly event that’s exactly what it sounds like. Savvy?
We be too busy chasing around our crew demanding grog to write much, but the pirate guys got ye covered with a list of pirate pick-up lines. Get those hornpipes pipin’ and be smart about it, ye scallywags. Arrrrrrr!
Summer is almost over and if you’re single you may be dangerously close to not having a summer fling. Summer flings are the best and make summer extra awesome and they give you something to daydream about in the Fall. Never fear, the Edukatorz are here and will tell you how to get that summer fling in the next few weeks before it is too late.
1) Go to the Beach
Go to the beach, preferably a beach house. If you’re young and single, it should be fairly easy to find a summer fling. If the cast of the Jersey Shore can find flings, you can too. If you mix sand, pools, bathing suits and booze you’ll find your summer honey. Besides, if you’re lucky this other person will live in another city and you’ll have a story to tell your friends about the girl/boy you got to snuggle with late into the night while on vacation. Read the rest of this entry →
Image via FFFound
We don’t know about you, but tend to get chapped lips in the summer. It is super annoying because it impedes our ability to make out. We know we’re not the only ones with this problem so we thought we’d give some tips on how to prevent chapped lips in the summer time.
1) Lip Balm
We’re big fans of Carmex, but a lip balm with spf (to protect from the Sun’s evil rays) or just sunscreen even is the way to go. This may seem like a no-brainer, but so many people forget to do it. Sun damage leads to chapped lips and sun burned lips are painful.
2) Hydrate
If you think you’re drinking enough water, you’re probably not. In the summertime you’re more susceptible to dehydration which helps cause chapped lips. Drink 8-10 8 oz glasses of water a day, no excuses.
3) Moisturize
Yes, lip balm is a moisturizer, but you should be wearing that during the day. At night (when you’re sleeping) is another story. We like to go natural and slather aloe all over our face and lips before we go to bed. It dries quickly and it helps heal sun damage and softens your skin.
What better way to celebrate our triumphant return than with the triumphant return of Make Out Monday? (Note: There is no better way.)
Today we’re going to talk about making out when it’s hot outside. It’s been roughly the temperature of the surface of the sun on the East Coast for the past week so this is a subject near and dear to our hearts (and other body parts). Last year we told you how to make out in the heat. Go refresh your memory and read that post, we’ll wait. Ok, finished? You should definitely do/try all of those things, but we realize it’s not all practical. We haven’t been to a pool yet this summer (inexcusable, we know) and even after sitting in air conditioning all day, it can still be too hot to make out. We’re never ones to let Mother Nature win, so here are some tips on making out when it’s hot out.
1) Less is More
Less clothing that is. When it’s hot out it’s acceptable to wear the minimum amount of clothing as required by law (adjusting for social propriety obviously). Now we’re not advocating going around in your bikini (or speedo) everywhere, but we do advocate short shorts (or just shorts for gentlemen), cute dresses and tank tops. Not only does the minimal clothing make it easier to make out later at home, but it’s an added turn on for your partner.
2) Shady Areas
No, we don’t mean the shady part of town. We mean the park under the trees, under a tent, etc. Lounging around under the shade or on a porch with your make out partner is the perfect place to make out. It’s cooler than other spots and you’re not going to be doing anything but sitting around the shade anyway. Read the rest of this entry →
You know what I mean. When dudes get dude-ish and start talking about sex, there comes the point in the conversation where everyone gets to arguing about their favorite “type” of sex: European vacation bar bathroom sex, “I love you” sex, shower sex, “thank god I’m not pregnant sex,” “oh my god I’m pregnant sex,” anniversary sex, make up sex… and then there’s break up sex.
When people refer to breakup sex, they’re generally referring to one last good (or somewhat violent but hot, or reminiscent) time in the sack before you turn your back on a long-term (or at least semi-legitimate) relationship. It’s like the silver lining during the thunderstorm of breakups; if you get good breakup sex, it’s not all bad.
The problem is that things are very rarely that simple. What you might refer to as “breakup sex” at the time is almost never what breakup sex is meant to be. That is to say, breakup sex should only ever be what it is: one last good time before parting ways. And if it’s that straightforward, and both parties are that comfortable with it, chances are it’s not the last time, even if you’re no longer dating.
What is often mistakenly referred to as breakup sex more often falls into one of three categories: angry makeup sex, vengeance sex, or dysfunctional from the start sex. These categories are confused so often because they have the same starting point.
What’s the starting point? You already know. That crazy girlfriend who hates your best friend since elementary school threw out your fourth grade yearbook. You knew you should never have dated a Chad, he’s totally never been your type, and of course there he is on facebook doing body shots off some blonde chick. And so on. The fight where it just seems like there’s no solution and it’s done.
And after some serious yelling, and possibly shoe-throwing, you get down and dirty on the couch. It’s hot, it’s slightly violent, it’s a struggle for dominance, and somewhere in there you need to recognize it for what it really is.
Dysfunctional from the start: It was always about the sex anyway. What were you doing getting your emotions involved to the point where you could get that heated? Get out now. But you know, if you see him/her at the club with another chick/dude… may as well “fight” it out.
Vengeance sex: You’ve been done. You hate this motherf*cker. You want to give him blue balls/her whatever the female equivalent is and walk away. This one is pretty easy to identify.
Angry makeup sex: You end up sweaty and cuddling up like some puke-worthy romantic comedy and honestly can’t remember why you’re fighting. Once you recover from the emotional rollercoaster of the last 24 hours or so, you’ll talk it out. Best case scenario.
Seriously, unless one party is moving to China for a sick job as a secret agent and the other has to stay in Russia for similar reasons, and you both totally respect that, breakup sex is never just breakup sex. Next time, think about what’s really going on; it’ll save you stress later.
Ah, the great outdoors – you get fresh air, peace and quiet and solitude. It’s a great place to unplug and relax. While camping is a great way to enjoy the outdoors it can also be idyllic for making out. We don’t recommend finding a make out partner while camping (unless it’s at a campground). There are a few ground rules to follow.
1) Make a Campfire
A nighttime campfire is romantic. If there’s not a drought warning (listen to Smokey – forrest fires are unromantic) make a contained campfire to snuggle up next to your make out partner. Bonus points if you make s’mores; negative points if you tell ghost stories.*
2) Check Your Sleeping Bag
You don’t need any new friends from nature joining you on your make out. Check your bag before slipping in with your partner to make sure no bugs or other critters have decided to join you.
3) Secure Your Tent
Again, you don’t need new friends, i.e. critters, joining you. Make sure the tent is secure. You also want to make sure the tent is soundly put up – a fallen tent is a total boxdryer.
4) Keep it Down
Just because you’re out in the woods doesn’t mean you should make a ton of noise. You don’t want to attract animals, park rangers, fellow campers or serial killers.
* We love ghost stories, but they totally take us out of the mood while camping. All we can think about then is how the amorous couple is always getting killed off in horror movies.
Crushes – yes they’re not just for teenagers anymore. We hoped we’d get out of the the whole “having crushes” faze once we got older, but alas we did not – they only got longer and deeper.
How do I know if I have a crush?
It is fairly common to be sexually attracted to someone, but crushing on someone is different. A crush is a long, sustained attraction to someone – usually a friend or acquaintance (occasionally a stranger a la Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog) – where you actually want to date the person versus just hitting it.
When in the throes of a crush you can’t help but constantly think about the object of your affection and how perfect you two would be together. If you’re a teenager you’re doodling their name in your notebook fantasizing about taking them to prom. If you’re an adult you’re thinking about brunching together and having a “real” relationship with them.
What do I do about my crush?
Firstly don’t be creepy (no stalking) and don’t be awkward for awkwardness is the enemy of awesome. If it’s a stranger we recommend introducing yourself to him/her and getting to know him/her – the person may be awesome and have similar feelings or the person may suck and you may have just saved your self months of frustration crushing on this person. If it’s a friend we recommend the slow game method since you don’t want to ruin a good friendship.
Be prepared to be rejected. Your crush may start dating someone else or may just not be in to you. This happens, it’s ok, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Also be prepared to not really be into your crush. We can’t tell you how many times we’ve gotten over a crush on someone or gone on a date with them and realized that they were nothing like our crush fantasy. On the flip side nothing feels better than knowing your crush is in to you so we recommend risking it and going after him/her.
Video via TGRIOnline.
A guest column by LeninsTomb, co-editor of our friend-site TGRIOnline.com.
The Edukatorz are all about making out, bringing you a weekly column on the whos, wheres and hows of making out. Each column is a treasure chest of great advice – but with the key of having even a modicum of game. But what about readers without game? Either rusty after a long relationship or burned by a series of bad ones, many are left without the simple, time-tested methods of making out.
Fret not, gameless readers. I present: the Slow Game Method. Not to be confused with pick-up artist gimmicks like negs and peacocking, slow game is exactly what it sounds like: a deliberate approach to finding a make out partner (and maybe more). Let’s go over the basics.
1. Finding a potential make out partner
Simple enough – find your target. Someone you’re attracted to and have stuff in common with, but for some reason, neither of you are likely to pull the trigger just yet.
2. Be patient
It’s called slow game. Don’t rush it. Slow game takes weeks or months (true story). Like a slow cooker, the slow game uses a consistent, low-heat approach. Insert meat joke here.
3. Put yourself in the right context
Slow game requires you to be a part of your target’s life, over a period of time, in a non-make out context. Still, that doesn’t mean you should fast track yourself to the friend zone. Guys: dance parties with groups of friends that include your target are good – shopping for shoes with them is not. Be flirty and friendly, and don’t get pigeonholed by being the “nice guy.”
4. Timing is everything
Time solves everything. If you’re around someone in the right context for long enough, you just may start to look like a potential make out partner. If you start getting those good vibrations, take your shot. After all the time you’ve invested, you have no excuse not to go for it.
LeninsTomb writes about music and culture at TGRIOnline and ponders matters of life and death on Twitter as @LeninsTomb.
Editor’s note: Dr. Bunsen Honeydew can testify to the effectiveness of this method.
From ScypaxPictures on Flickr
Going to the movie theater is a classic date night ritual. The Edukatorz have been on their fair share of movie dates and have had plenty of movie theater make outs. Play your cards right and you too could be smooching during the movie.
1) Game Plan
Sometimes you know you’re going to want to make out at the movies (it’s a safe form of exhibitionism). If that’s the case make sure you go on a weeknight to a movie that’s at least in it’s second week of being out, you don’t want a packed theater. We’ve had dudes try to make out with us in a packed theater on opening weekend before and it was a total turnoff.
2) Seating
Sit near the back away from the aisle and away from people. This should be obvious, but you don’t want an usher finding you in a compromising position and you don’t your fellow movie patrons watching the ‘other’ show.
3) Pick the Right Movie
Make sure you pick the right movie to make out to at the theater. Going to see that Oscar-bait Holocaust movie probably isn’t going to put you in the mood; and neither is that Pixar flick or Will Ferrell movie (unless you’re in High School…and then, you know, hormones). Pick a horror movie (not too scary), action movie or romance (if you’re into that) or a movie you know will just be ‘alright’. There’s no point to making out at the movies if you’re going to be actually watching the movie.
4) Don’t be Skeevy
We’ve all heard of the popcorn in the lap trick (doesn’t that burn?) and the arm around the shoulder move. In addition to making sure it’s not TOO public, don’t be skeevy during your make out. Just because you’re in a darkened room with a few people doesn’t give you a license to do whatever.
It has been a sweltering summer so far and we’re not made for the heat. While some like it hot, we’re not in that category and it makes making out a bit of a problem. But we won’t stop making out just because of the weather so here are some tips for making it comfortable while you make out and dare we say hotter?
1) Air Conditioning
Air conditioning is your friend, duh. If you’re in air conditioning you have no excuse to NOT be making out with someone.
2) Ice Cubes
Ice cubes cool you down naturally, but they can also heat you up. Take a few and help cool off your make out partner by strategically pressing them to his/her body. You can also play “pass the ice cube” while you’re making out; it’s very fun.
3) Pools
Same rules as public beaches apply to public pools – keep it PG. But if you have a private pool, well then all bets are off, we recommend skinny dipping.
4) Fans
Have your significant other fan you (or I guess make out in front of a fan). It can set up some fun role playing for you and your partner (Cleopatra anyone?) and you’ll stay cool.
5) Hydrate
Staying hydrated is important in the heat and when making out. Keep some water around (even if you have ice cubes) and drink when thirsty. Not only will it prevent dehydration, but it’ll be a good way to get the salt from your sweats off of your lips.
6) Shower Time
We’ve been known to take a cold shower when we’ve been without air conditioning, it can be quite refreshing. Try making out with your partner in the shower on a hot day, it’ll cool you off while being incredibly hot at the same time.